


I look for mercy when my heart begins to bleed

by PrimalScream



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Canon can fuck itself, M/M, Porn with Feelings, self indulgent post season 4 healing fic, there is a small amount of canon if squint and turn around three times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 08:06:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11870115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrimalScream/pseuds/PrimalScream
Summary: Post S4. Not canon compliant at all, whoops. Totally self indulgent feelings fic. Also whoops.I realize two men alone can't sailThe Walrus, I just don't care. It's fic, suspend your disbelief for a sentence or six.





	I look for mercy when my heart begins to bleed

"We can walk away right now, you and I. We’ll take some of the gems and we’ll leave.”

John doesn’t even hesitate, he just follows James to the chest and together they pick through the gems, keeping only the ones they decide won’t be easy to trace, and then leaving the chest out in the open for the others to find eventually. They hide within the dense trees until dusk. After the sun sets they walk under the cover of darkness to the shoreline and board the ship silently. Quickly and quietly they make their way through the men left on the ship, binding and gagging them. He and James leave them in long boats beached on the sand. By the time the men work themselves free he and James will be long gone.

The first few days they sleep in shifts allowing them to sail day and night. Just outside the port at St. Augustine they lower the last long boat with all their belongings to the water before setting The Walrus on fire and heading for land.

They pick a small inlet to go ashore. They easily find a trader willing to supply them with horses and food in the dead of night for what John feels is a rather exorbitant fee, but James hadn’t made a fuss, so John had kept silent, and then they were on their way to a new life.

_*** Four months later ***_

John watches carefully as James comes in for the evening. He’s spent the day hauling logs from the woods to make the improvements on the cabin that James had managed to purchase for a song. John spends his days repairing the chinking and scraping the dozen or so layers of dust and grime off of every surface in their new home. He sees the discomfort etched on James’s face and John decides it is way past time he does something about it. He puts what’s left of the water they have stored inside into the large cast iron pot hanging over the fire for it to heat.

After dinner he stops James from going back out to wash.

“Take your clothes off.”

James raises a brow, “I’d like to clean up a bit first.”

John gives him a half smile, “It’s not that kind of request.” When James hesitates, John tires again, “Please, James.”

He doesn’t answer but he does begin disrobing. “Face down on the other bed when you’re done.”

“Why the other one?”

“In case it gets wet.”

James gives him an odd look but does as he’s told. There are two beds in the cabin, mostly for show, but they only use one. James strips perfunctorily as John ladles hot water into a bowl. He collects a clean cloth, the soap and the liniment he’d purchased from the dry goods store, before making his way to the bed.

He settles on his stomach as John had asked, arms under the pillow his head is resting on, his face turned toward John watching him speculatively. John removes his new peg and straddles James’s waist. He takes a few moments to look his fill. It’s not often that James will lie still long enough for him to fully admire the view. After several more seconds he takes up the cloth and wets down James’s back before taking the soap and gliding it across James’s shoulders and back. James hums in the back of his throat and John can see his eyes close as his face smooths out.

“The first time I saw you, I thought you were larger than life. I was equal parts terrified and aroused. I love the way you’re built.” John’s fingers trace James’s shoulder blades, his nails scraping gently against the bone.

“And how am I built exactly?” James’s voice is soft and slightly muffled by the pillow.

“Very well.” John laughs when James huffs at him.

John takes his time washing James’s back. He rubs his soapy hands over the pale skin, tracing the plentiful freckles with his fingertips trying to make constellations in the lather left behind. James’s back is wide and firm, dense with muscle. He loves the way James feels, he loves the strength and breadth of him. James is wider than he is, bigger than he is, not by much, but enough that John feels sheltered by him when James is over him. John doesn’t think he’s ever felt as safe as when he’s being held by James.

“The first time we met properly, you had me pressed against the rocks, knife at my throat and I should have been afraid for my life. All I could think about was how desperately I wanted you.” James turns his head to smirk at John over his shoulder. John smacks him softly on the back of the head, "Don't gloat." James snorts out a laugh before turning back.

John rinses his hands and wets the cloth. He wipes across and down until the soap is completely gone. He leans in, runs his tongue along the line of James’s shoulders, up the back of his neck, he scoots back so he can bite down James’s spine, he hears a hiss of breath and when he looks up James’s mouth is slightly parted, eyes moving rapidly beneath his eye lids.

He sits up and reaches for the tin. He rubs the salve between his palms to warm it before applying his hands to James’s back. He starts at James’s shoulders, hard press with the heels of his hands, rubbing in circles all the way down James’s spine. James groans under him, body sinking further into the bed.

He works each knot out to a chorus of moans and soft sighs, half bitten off groans and every once in a awhile a hiss of pain. By the time John is done, James is nearly purring under him, his body relaxed and melting into the bed.

“Turn over for me.”

John gets up while James flips over and he notices the tent in James’s pants. James smirks at him and John just rolls his eyes. John maneuvers until he’s sitting in James’s lap. He watches James watch him.

When James had suggested they leave together, just leave it all behind and go, he hadn’t been able to refuse the desperate look in James’s eyes. He hadn’t been able to face the thought of losing James for good. He hasn’t regretted a second of his decision.

He runs his fingers down James’s chest, down his stomach, the muscles ripple under his hands as James sucks in a breath. He reaches for the cloth, wetting it and running it across James’s chest and down his arms. He lathers his hands once again and soaps up James’s chest. He rubs his thumbs over James’s nipples, the tiny buds puckering tightly as James moans softly, his eyes falling closed. His fingers drag through the hair over the center of James’s chest, he soaps it thoroughly making designs in the hair that have James smiling at him, before smoothing downward over James’s abdomen. James jumps when John rubs his fingers lightly against James's sides, a soft chuckle emanating from him.

He rinses James quickly and takes up the soap again. He lathers James’s left arm from shoulder to fingertip, playing with James’s fingers when he gets down to his hand. He links their fingers together, pressing his palm against James’s. James squeezes his fingers, holds onto him tightly for several seconds as their eyes meet before releasing him. John massages James’s palm and wrist, moving up his forearm and then onto his bicep. John rinses him before treating the other arm with the same care.

By the time he’s done James is sighing softly, his eyes closed, a serene smile gracing his lips. He places a gentle kiss on James’s lips and moves to get up but James catches him, his hands tightening on John’s hips.

“And what did I do to deserve such tender ministrations?”

John doesn’t have the words, doesn’t know what to say or how to say it, “You being here, this,” he motions at the cabin, “Everything you do, what you’ve made for us here.”

James presses up into a sitting position, one arm going around John’s waist, the other behind himself for support. He presses his forehead to John’s chest. The words are soft but John has no problem hearing them, “I know what you gave up to be here with me. I hope you know what it means to me. What _you_ mean to me.”

John tilts James’s chin up. The fact that he has doubts weighs heavily on John. “I loved her, but what she and I had, it wasn’t this, and I can’t live without this. I can’t live without you.”

James’s eyes search his and whatever he finds must ease his mind. He pulls John down into a soft kiss. John tries to convey what he feels, tries to give James the feelings behind the words that he doesn’t know how to say. Without James he has nothing, he _is_ nothing. James completes him in a way he never thought possible, in a way he hadn’t ever dared to hope for. He cups James’s face in his hands, the palms of his hands sliding over James’s beard, his fingers tracing the shells of James’s ears. James pulls him down until they’re flush, and then rolls them.

He presses John into the bed, his mouth dragging down John’s chin to lick at his throat. John gasps as James bites against his pulse point. He pulls John’s shirt from his pants and brings it over his head before tossing it to the side. James presses his mouth along John’s collarbone, sucking and licking at the skin one slow inch at a time. His hips rut down against John languidly, nothing more than gentle rocking, their cocks sliding together through two layers. John presses up, tries to get James to move faster, but James just takes John’s left hip in his hand and presses him to the bed, slowing his movement. He moves down, suckles at John’s nipples, slow lapping strokes of his tongue before the sting of teeth.

“James, please.”

James pays him no mind, just continues his slow descent down John’s body. His mouth barely lifts, his tongue constantly trailing, tracing, his lips sucking, his teeth biting until John is a mess of desperate, unfulfilled want, his body aching. John has never had anyone make him feel like this, like he should be worshiped, like he deserved it, but James does, every single time he makes John feel like he’s worthy of the reverence James pays him. In the beginning it had been frantic, the final piece of their puzzle falling into place and they had been unable to slow down, the memory of not having each other still to real, but now James takes his time, his mouth and hands gliding over every square inch of John’s body. John trembles under him, his breath stuttering out, his heart racing.

When James finally removes both of their pants John’s whole body is shivering, arousal burning hot inside him, his blood flowing like lava through his veins. James gets to his knees between John’s wide spread legs, he reaches for the vial under the pillow upends it into his palm before swiping three fingers through it. He strokes over John’s hole with a soft touch. John hums, his hips pushing back for more. The first thrust of James’s fingers makes John gasp, his hips rolling up. His fingers clutch at the bed as a tendril of pleasurable pain zings up his spine. James works him open like he’s got nothing else planned, like he’s prepared to spend the rest of eternity right here concentrating on John’s rim, opening him with feather light touches. His fingers barely breach John before pulling back and then pushing in again. He sets a leisurely pace and John wants to scream.

James leans forward and takes the head of John’s cock in his mouth and John moans, his hands scrabbling over James’s head, his fingers pressing at the back of his neck, “Oh, fuck. James, please, please.”

John’s hips press back, needing more but James just continues his sedate pace, long gliding push in and an even slower return, like John isn’t aching for it so badly he could cry. James stretches him carefully, his fingers pulling and tugging, spreading him wide. Two fingers on his other hand adding a deeper burn, making John whimper. He licks around the head of John’s cock, his tongue probing the slit, making John leak.

Finally he pulls off and slicks his cock, lining himself up he presses forward, his eyes zeroed in on where he’s splitting John open. James’s cock head pops in and John’s neck arches, his teeth catching his bottom lip. He loves the sweet, delicious burn of James filling him. It makes him shudder, his fingers wrapping around James’s wrists.

Once he’s fully seated he hovers over John, his eyes searching John’s face. John smiles at him, his hand cupping James’s cheek to bring him down for a wet kiss. James’s hips pull back and thrust home fast. John gasps, his back arching, his nails digging into James’s skin. He loves the hot, thick feel of James’s cock inside him. He loves the stretch of it, the burn in his hips as he widens his legs, tilting his pelvis into James's thrusts.

“God, yes.” John pants. His body already starting to shake. James pulls John’s legs around his hips and fucks in hard, his pace driving John up the bed. John manages to keep his eyes open to watch James’s face. He loves seeing the pleasure steal over James’s features. He loves the way James’s mouth goes slack, his eyes heated and dark as he watches John. He loves the gasping, breathy moans that James almost seems unaware of. John has never wanted anyone the way he wants James, no one has ever made him feel like he’s enough, that he alone is enough to _be_ the prize, not just a means to it.

James leans into him, gets a hand under John’s body, his fingers on John’s ass as he lifts John into his thrusts. It changes the angle and John goes breathless as James slides right over that bundle of nerves that turns John inside out. He presses his head to John’s neck, his panting breath sliding across John’s shoulder. John hands clutch at James’s ass, his fingers squeezing, kneading as he urges James on. One finger slips between and he presses delicately against James’s hole, his fingertip skidding in the sweat collecting there. James moans deep and low, his hips fucking in hard and fast, his teeth sinking into John’s skin.

John’s cock is rubbing up against James’s abdomen and as good as it is he needs more. He wiggles his hand between them, get his fingers around himself making a tight channel to thrust into. James looks down, and then gets to his knees, his hands holding John’s legs under the knees, opening him up so he can watch both points at once.

He licks his lips as he watches John’s cock slide through his fist, wet at the tip, the head bright red. John feels his cock throb, just the idea of James’s mouth on him enough to drive him closer to the edge.

James’s hips falter, he chokes on a breath, his eyes slipping closed as his head tips back. He full body shudders as John feels his cock swell and pulse inside him. James is flushed all the way down his front, his nipples pulled into tight little buds, puckering the flesh around them. John thinks he’s completely stunning. John’s hand is wrapped loosely around his cock, his own orgasm put on hold so he can watch James find release. John doesn’t believe in God or heaven, but right now, watching James, John would would be hard pressed to deny the existence of a higher being, it’s the only explanation for the ethereal beauty that is James Flint.

When James’s eyes open they’re sated and heavy, his gaze warm, filled with so much emotion that John almost can’t stand to look. John has never mattered to someone the way he does to James and sometimes it’s almost more than he can bear to see knowing how unworthy he is of that kind of devotion. It humbles him in a way nothing else ever has.

James pushes John’s hand away from his cock. He takes John in his fist, wraps his fingers tight and strokes him fast, his hips twisting in figure eights where he’s still pressed deep inside John’s body. John moans, his eyes fluttering closed before snapping back up. He wants James to see him, see what he feels even if he can’t say it. He feels James slipping out of his body and he whimpers, missing the feeling of being full. James slithers down, his mouth replacing his hand, three fingers sliding deep into John. John hums his approval as he works himself between James’s mouth and his hand. James’s fingers press and twist reaching up and curling and then John is practically shouting James’s name, his eye rolling up as he fucks into James’s mouth.

His hands slide over James’s scalp to his shoulders, his fingers gripping tightly, “Don’t stop.” James purrs around him, the vibration traveling up his spine, he can feel himself twitch inside James’s mouth as James sucks him down further, the head hitting the back of James’s throat. James swallows around him, his fingers rubbing in circles inside him and it pushes John over the edge. His breath seizes in his lungs, his body goes rigid, muscles clenching. He starts to shake hard as he empties himself in one dizzying pulse after another into James’s mouth. By the time he catches his breath, James has curled around him and turned them around so that John’s back is to James’s chest, his lips gliding over John’s shoulder one small kiss at a time.

James pulls a blanket over them, John flips over so he’s facing James, their eyes meet and hold in the dark. John takes James’s face between his hands, tries to tell him with his eyes how much James means to him. James smiles at him before kissing his eyelids and then his mouth. John falls asleep with his nose pressed into the hair at James’s sternum.


End file.
